In this lesson, we’ll explore the hidden fears that may be holding you back from reaching your goals. You’ll learn to identify and challenge the fears that lead to self-doubt and avoidance, keeping you within the comfort zone where unproductive habits thrive. Using techniques such as fear reframing and positive self-dialogue, you’ll transform fear from a barrier into a tool for growth. By the end of this lesson, you’ll have actionable steps to overcome self-limiting beliefs and approach success and failure with confidence, shifting your mindset toward resilience and self-empowerment.
- Duration
- Workbook Pages
- Assements
- Exercises
- Video
Understanding and Overcoming Fear
Every single person avoids things that cause pain or distress. It’s a basic instinct in the way we interact with the world. It comes into play in our relationships, tasks at work, schooling, household chores, time management, and all the ways we do things either alone or with people. Think of it like a hot stove burner—you may have caught the side of your finger once while flipping a pancake or moving a pan, but you’ll have extra caution around that area in your home. You interact differently with that spot than you do with the dining table, coffee table, or bathroom counter!
No matter what the objective is, the negativity of our fears can prevent us from reaching our full potential. To be comfortable doing new and exciting things, we must learn to face our problems head-on and challenge ourselves. It is fear that prevents us from stepping outside of our comfort zone. It is in our current comfort zone that we develop all of our bad habits. What is the point of staying in a place that is full of things that do not work? We must face the fear of failure, the effort to succeed, and the neglect of other responsibilities on the road to success and change.
Steps to Failure
- Fear
- Problem
- Risk
- Passivity
- Doubt
- Trouble
- Crisis
- Pessimism
- Worry
- Dilemma
- Stress
- Complication
- Defeat
- Obstacle
- Failure
Most people are not afraid of things like their businesses burning down. They’re more apt to be afraid of heights, tight spaces, spiders, snakes, death, public speaking, or showing up to school in their underwear. But none of these fears, however frightening, will derail your personal growth, career success, or weight loss success. The most common fears that will keep you from your goals are the fear of failure and the fear of success. I can tell you right now that failure is not something to be afraid of! Because as long as you are trying, you will never fail! You will only learn and grow. If you are not trying, it is because you are afraid of success, change, or anything new. You might be afraid to give up old habits or have to take responsibility for yourself and your health. You may even be afraid that if you try and succeed, you will not have any excuse to be the way you were before. And I do not want to be harsh, but you do not have an excuse to fail. There is not one that exists—not a good one anyway! So instead of resigning yourself to a place you do not want to be for a reason as bad as “But I like cake!” let’s try a better option: facing the fears and getting past them.
We learn from our past emotions and memories in the amygdala through fear conditioning. Depending on the severity of the event, the brain eventually learns to predict similar outcomes. A person can predict the outcome of touching hot objects in the future if they injure themselves on a hot stove. In addition to loud noises and unpleasant odors, pain is also a negative stimulus. Fear conditioning is carried out by the amygdala. The amygdala is believed to store fear memories in connections between nuclei.
The first step is to take comfort in the fact that you are not alone! Every human that has walked the planet has these fears! Most people would tell me that they do not have a fear of failure or success, so it is normally not recognized. Knowing if you do or not will help you deal with difficult situations, like wanting to eat a whole cake. The key is to recognize and understand your fears. By doing this, you can make more appropriate choices when your fear is telling you to run from the program you are on and back into the arms of the self-defeating life you had before you attempted in the first place.
Do you remember your positive inner dialogue? I hope so because it is going to come in handy here. When you are about to say, “F–k, this is too scary!” you need a kind, compassionate voice that says, “These are just my fears surfacing. I need to sit with them and remember that everyone is afraid of change. It is how humans are wired. I am going to keep going! Even though I am afraid, I love myself enough to have the courage to do this!” It is the voice of a good parent who wants nothing but the best for their child. The only difference is that it is your own voice.
Problem: My fear prevents me from putting myself out there. The negativity of fear can limit us from our true potential. In order to overcome it, we must face our problems head-on and challenge ourselves to do new things. Fear keeps us from stepping out of our comfort zone. That’s where all our habits live—in our comfort zone. We want to replace all the habits that live in our comfort zone with sustainable habits oriented toward achieving our goals. The fear of failure, the fear of the effort it takes to succeed, or even the fear of neglecting other responsibilities to achieve your goal, are some of the things we have to face on our road to success. If you are serious about your goals, you have to start dealing with these fears differently. You have to stop deflecting them. Stop living out the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a new result. Let’s face these fears now.
Fear is just one of the monsters around the corner, ready to ambush you, ready to block your path to success. He likes to fill you with reasons to fail.
Here are some of the things the monster of fear will tell you:
“Give up! It is too hard.”
“You should just quit.”
“You can’t do it.”
“I do not know why you thought you could.”
Here are the answers you can give to make him go away:
If I focus on weight loss and fitness, I am making progress.
Health and fitness are lifelong goals of mine.
Yes, it is hard, but staying focused on my goals is easy.
I am going to congratulate myself for staying on this path, so you can get the &#$% out of my way.
I can gain 20 years of good quality life with serious structured change.
I am unstoppable. Nothing can stop me. My goals are too big to let them fail.
ACTIVITY | Determine your fears.
What are you REALLY afraid of? With the help of some of our previous assesments, we will determine some of the fears holding you back from getting to your goals.
“The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.”
ACTIVITY | Get past the monster that you fear the most.
NOTE: Make sure yout make some notes in regards to the questions to reflect on. You will want to look back on these.
NOTE | No need to download if workbook availble.
What we often do is instead of using fear as fuel for your body, and more importantly, for your mind, you give in to it. Our stomachs churn with butterflies as we prepare. Weaknesses and problems are what keep us from reaching our full potential. Throughout the years, my greatest fear has always been the debilitating stutter. It somehow motivates me to stand up against it. Therefore, regardless of the fire that destroyed my facility, the hurricane that devastated our island, COVID, 9/11, or a computer hack, my fear of failure has always kept me going. We must identify what the problem is and use it as fuel for our rocket.
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain
Problem: Avoidance
I told you a few stories about how I let avoidance define me, and believe me, there are many more. This is a time for reflection on your own childhood or any of the formative years to now where you have taken on identity traits that are not your true self. Where others have defined you because of your own avoidance tendencies.
Start with how you think others define you. Answer these questions:
ACTIVITY | Determine the Problems you are trying to avoid.
Often times we let what others have told us determine who or what we think of ourselves. Let’s dive into some past memories and determine some things that you may think of yourself, but let others determine that for you. You could be avoiding the problem because this beliefe is deeply rooted in your self preservation of who you are. It’s time to shift that thinking.
